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SHIRANU: Not Knowing

Approaching Zen practice was not a simple thing for me. To sit in front of a wall and watch myself was intimidating and painful, both physically and emotionally. But it certainly captivated me, since it touched and exposed my most sensitive fibers, my most hidden thoughts and emotions, enabling me to work on them. For this reason, it didn't take long for me to commit to practice on a deeper level and take Jukai. 


I see my Dharma name as a koan because it reveals the merit or the light that shines within us, but also those beliefs that are hidden in our dark side; those ideas that limit our capacity to flow.


Many of my life's experiences have been based on knowledge, on the need to understand rationally, on knowing more, doing more, on my self-imposed standards, on searching for my own value outside myself.


SHIRANU: not knowing, helps me to remember that all knowing lies within myself, yet to be discovered, not with the eyes of the egocentric mind, but with the wisdom, the nobility, the humility and the purity of heart. It helps me to let go of logic and reason, believing and trusting my practice and, therefore, myself.  

ENYU: Perfect Harmony Among Difference


By taking Jukai I wanted to celebrate a commitment that had been growing for months with my meditation practice, my teacher--Hosso Sensei--and with the community I belong to. The source of this commitment was my inexhaustible search to alleviate the suffering I was creating in my own mind: blaming my teachers and family, with a strong feeling of guilt and no clarity about how to take responsibility for what my life was putting before me.


With my Dharma name, I feel my teacher is encouraging me not to react to the differences I see in people, their physical features, their abilities or flaws; to accept, rather than rejecting or competing. With my name I also work to harmonize my own differences, virtues and defects, good and bad choices. I try not to judge, to blame myself or feel ashamed, and also to calm my ego when I feel the intention to elevate myself above others. 


My practice teaches me  to breathe in harmony with what I am.

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